Blogger just ate my #$#^%&*^*#@$ post I spent about 2 hours working on.
$#%&^%*&(*^%#%$!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For fun instead, I will post all my photos from the doomed entry and you can write the text for me. Most creative story wins. Winner gets a prize.
I'm totally serious. It will probably involve booze and yarn so please, let me know if you are under 21. I don't need the po. after me.
$#%&^%*&(*^%#%$!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For fun instead, I will post all my photos from the doomed entry and you can write the text for me. Most creative story wins. Winner gets a prize.
I'm totally serious. It will probably involve booze and yarn so please, let me know if you are under 21. I don't need the po. after me.
Edited to add: I am NOT pregnant and I am NOT getting married. You can let you breath out, Jason.
La, this one is for you. After a major stash clean-up, I put the ziplocks to use and organized (I can't believe that word came out of my mouth) the circulars.
4 comments:
Here we go. Starting top left, going clockwise...
1. I have been commissioned by my favorite winery to design a wine label. It's for a limited edition bottling, guaranteed to make any average knitter a bona fide lace-making, pattern drafting expert. For a measly $650, you will receive a bottle of wine and two magical stitch holders. Order at www.wineandneedlestonic.com. [Basket, yarn and Dali print not included.]
2. This is the gown that I knitted up on the plane back from LA last week. It was a breeze and only took 30 minutes on a size 00 needle. I can't believe what a quick knit this was! It's for my best friend Julie's wedding next week. The yarn is a silk that I engineered from mutant silk worms in my underground wine cellar/bio-lab. No tailoring necessary, since the silk will expand or contract with the wearer! Julie can eat, dance and feel comfortable all night long! I should recieve my patent later this week.
3. This is my sister Cassandra's foot. Can you believe how thin and cute they're making casts these days? Don't worry about the needles sticking out of her foot, they're keeping it attatched. She's so hopped up on morphine, she can't feel a thing. She's been making a lot of strange comments and talking to inanimate objects, but the doctors say it's nothing to worry about.
4. This is come Jaeger baby merino. Cassandra said they requested to made into these baby booties and that they preferred these bamboo needle since the addi turbos had an attitude with them. I actually wanted to make a hat for my niece, but Cassie insistant. She said the yarn was threatening to spontaneously felt unless it's demands were met. I guess I'm making some booties this weekend, huh?
5. Oh this bottom picture is just a little still life from my 2 year old niece Sydney. Isn't she talented?
My secret pal has struck again! After sending me that great Knit Picks sock garden yarn and seeing no progress she decided to send me this card and stitch markers to match the socks I had started! I thought I better get to work. (After a few glasses of wine a little cheese and about half a loaf of sourdough) As you can see I got right to it. I turned the heel and am on my way to a finished sock, see I can drink and knit! Thanks again Secret Pal! You always seem to know when I need a little (kick in the butt) inspiration!
My girlfriend asked me to go wedding dress shopping with her. You know what that means, (I have to wear and incredibly horrible dress) I get the honor of being a bridesmaid yet again! So after she tried on about a bizzilion dresses, she finally decided that she wants me to just knit her a dress! Can you believe it! Little does she know that I am already knitting these booties for her wedding present.. yup, it’s one of those weddings..
On another front Viva is complaining about her litter box again, guess I better get off my butt and change it before she starts plotting another world takeover. Hey secret pal! How about sending me one of those auto cleaning ones? She already took over the satellite box, and the reception is getting a little fuzzy lately, who knows what she will get into next? Did you see how she was cuddling up to Jason? I might just be out a man!!
Fear and Knitting in Vegas.
What you might not realize about me is that have very – I mean VERY big connections in Vegas due to the fact that I am the love child of Wayne Newton and Liza Minelli.
Unable to suffer the bad press and inevitable bankruptcy of such a scandal, it was decided that I be brought up outside of the celebrity circuit – in the hopes that I would have a ‘normal’ upbringing. At the appropriate time, they would reveal themselves to me as my biological parents and I would be able to come claim my throne as princess of the strip.
So a few days ago, didn’t I get the wackiest card and gift basket –inviting me for an all expense paid trip to Viva Las Vegas! The inside was inscribed with the most divine handwriting – that of ‘mom’s’ - Liza with a ‘Z’. She explained my unusual pedigree and while this came as a bit of a shock to me, my new found status has made up for any hurt feelings. I mean think of it, lil’ old me - Delia Minelli Newton ! It just stinks of fame.
So I was whisked off on their private jet to meet them at the Sands that evening. I had never been to L.V. before so this certainly was an eye opening experience.
Oh, but the big gossip? The Gloved One was nowhere NEAR any hospital with back problems. Oh no, instead he was in the hotel boutique trying out a new frock for his next court date. (I am becoming increasingly concerned about his mental well being.)
Well, to make a long story short, I ended up spending the most amazing 5 hours with mom and dad getting acquainted. And the best thing is I found out that I have siblings!!! Okay – well not blood relatives – but who cares. Apparently, a few members of Cirque Du Soleil had problems getting green cards, so out of the goodness of their hearts, mom and dad adopted six of them.
I was so excited meeting Serge, Benoit, Justine, Micheline, Sylvie and Guillaume, that I immediately started knitting booties for them.
Those French Canadians are really tiny!
Well, with one exception – big ass 'size 13 foot' Celine. Ugh – she asked me to knit her these socks, but I don’t know. There’s a real danger of putting my arm in traction. Bitch.
Oh, I also found out that Don Rickles has an artistic side – and a love of cats, wouldn’t ya know? The best part is, he uses his feet to draw these pics.
1. I'm actually getting engraved invitations from my laundry basket to wash my clothes. Yeah I need to get reacquainted with my chores.
2. My friend is getting married in December in Antarctica and I've been volunteered to knit her something to "cover all the exposed areas." I'm considering using reichesse et soie to knit one of those shawls from Gossamer Webs. I don't really have time but those only have about 6 pages of charts apiece so I'll make sure to start that by Thanksgiving at the latest. She's willing to reimburse me at least $25 for the yarn.
3. I only have two balls of this yarn and I need to knit these booties for a pregnant co-worker. But I dunno, those booties look really big and bulbous-look at the size of those booties compared to the yarn balls! Has anyone knitted these and how many balls per bootie did it take?
4. So here's how far I am on my pink sock. I'm totally bored and I'm thinking that I could stop here if I wear them with closed toed shoes, what do you think? I mean I still have another one to make and I did the heel which is the hard part so it's not like I'm cheating. Besides, I usually wear flip flops so my feet are used to being cold, but I sometimes find that with capris my ankles get a little chilly.
5. You know those signs in restaurant bathrooms that explain in several languages that employees have to wash their hands after wiping themselves whether they want to or not because it's the LAW? Well Viva has this habit of not cleaning up after digging around in the cat box, so I finally pasted this sign to the inside to help her get the hint. I just hate trying to enjoy a glass of wine and cruise the blogs wondering the whole time if the cat sitting mere inches from me is turning my desk into something resembling the floor of a public restroom. Ya know??
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